I know...

So it has been a while... I have no excuse really, other than I was just to lazy or unmotivated. But since once again i was hounded by all 3 of you to add something I will indulge my fans!

Nothing really deep on the radar right now... I have been studying through Romans for the HS Sunday school class i teach. I think i am actually starting to understand what Paul was after in chapters 6 and 7. At least it seems like at certain points i have flashes of "oh! yeah!" I am also actually starting to revise my thesis! HAHA!! I am not lying either! I have a lot of work though, so its kinda hard to get super motivated to do it. I also have an opportunity to give my pastor a break from preaching Jan 11th, so that will be good. I think im gonna take his input at dig in to Luke 23 and work on something that has to deal with how to overcome evil with good.

Speaking of my pastor; i got to sit down and share lunch with him this week and as always left feeling encouraged and challenged. If you don't have a shepherd in your life that is challenging you and encouraging you, FIND ONE!! It is a shame for any believer to live their lives without close fellowship and shepherding in the local body! anyway... There were many things that he encouraged me with as we talked about the upcoming birth of my first man-child, but there were really two that stuck with me.

1st i expressed my concern over being a good father. it really freaks me out that i have to be one. and i want to be a good one. i want to have a relationship with my son like my pastor has with his and enjoy close fellowship and relationship with my kids. i want them to know that i love them deeply and i care for them no matter what. most of all i want them to come to know God. As usual the advice given to me from my pastor was simple and profound. It went something along the lines of "If you want to be a good father, be a good husband. If you want to be a good husband be a good Christian." Simply put, be a good Christian. Make mistakes, repent, learn from them, and love Christ. It's so simple that even i can understand it, but its so scary because i am aware of how lame i am as a Christian...

...that brings me to the 2nd thing he said that really encouraged me. He was talking about his own walk with God and how he is aware of his tendency to pull away and allow his relationship with God to become cold, and he shared with me how it vital it is that he begs God for the ability and the grace to not be like that and to overcome that coolness and apathy.

And then it all hit me later on in the week... God! I need you!! I am desperately lost and wretched without you!! I will surely be a lame and worthless father and husband if you do not change my heart and grant me grace upon grace! God change me please! Help this worthless man! God help me! Be with me...


... And if it be your will, Save my child!